Keep a reference library of “top thoughts” at your fingertips.
This is a zero-minute read. The title captures my key takeaway from 2022 during which I became both a mentor and a mental health first aider (MHFA). Simply give those ten words another quick scan and feel free to leave it there. Otherwise, plough on to understand more about “top thoughts” and hear SEVEN of my favourites.
The factory model
Brains are incredible instruments. I can’t pretend to remotely grasp their complexity but I’d encourage you, in what follows, to think of them as factories. Producing what? A series of discrete “thoughts” at a prolific, almost continuous rate. Like any factory, the outputs vary. Good, bad, unhelpful, self-defeating, positive, enquiring, doubtful, hopeful, anxious, determined. And here’s the thing. The more you can watch your thoughts and the wider the variety of labels you can assign to them, the better your factory will be at quality control. If your only thought labels are “good” and “bad”, you may become stuck in unhelpful thought loops or classify potentially useful thoughts as defective.
Think of your brain as a thought-producing factory
Make your factory more reliable by forcing better outputs
So, if thoughts are the outputs, what are the inputs? And how can we refine the inputs to lead to better outputs? Exactly what triggers certain thoughts or even “ways of thinking” is little understood. Our stimuli are so varied and distractions are everywhere. A TV advert, an overheard conversation, a social media post that catches your eye. Random inputs that can send you down rabbit holes. You could of course, carefully manage your notifications, curate your Twitter feed or try to distance yourself from toxic acquaintances. But our cognitive resources are too limited to spend fire fighting. Rather than focus on culling the unwanted, it may be better to simply and directly zero-in on your most constructive thinking patterns. Compile your own personal cerebral wish list. Your “top thoughts”.
“If I know what my desirable / helpful daily thoughts are then: I should simply (a) write them down and (b) make them easily accessible. Reading this list forces those thoughts into my day.”
What are your best thoughts — the ones you want your factory to churn out? The ones you could label as “empowering” or “energising”. Not the ones leading to self sabotage or rumination. Not the ones that lead to excessive risk taking nor the ones that mean playing it too safe. The ones that motivate or inspire. The ones that lead to excitement and allow you to imagine.
“These are your “top thoughts”. They’re individual to you so there are no wrong answers. They can include mantras, memories or make-believe.”
Seven “top thought” examples
“What’s done is done”: This is a very common go-to thought for good reason — it has considerable power. Often deployed after some kind of mishap (or even crisis), it can have a calming effect. Stop, sit down, have a cup of tea. Regroup. We can’t change what’s (just?) happened but we can exert some control over our response. Let us draw a line and move on. THOUGHT LABEL: SEPARATING.
“Control the controllables”: A close cousin of “What’s done is done” this can help us to both (a) frame what’s truly within our sphere of influence and (b) thereby let go of whatever isn’t (especially if we are finding it to be detrimental). This could be something ostensibly quite trivial like a comment from a co-worker (whose perceptions, rhetoric and reactions are not owned by us). By not making use of our mental toolkit to deal with a minor feeling of annoyance in the short term, it could combine with other negative forces to build something more sinister. Incidentally, “Hanlon’s Razor” is another possible tool for this scenario. THOUGHT LABEL: RELEASING.
“Amor fati”: One from Stoic philosophy which roughly translates to “a love of fate”. Whatever hardship or challenge you may be facing right now, embrace it. Rather than just thinking “I can deal with this” or “I’m ok with it”. Go a step further and actively love the situation you are now presented with. This circumstance has led you into waters you might never have seen and given you new opportunities for growth. There’s much overlap between this idea and the mindset employed by Jocko Willink in his brilliant video “GOOD”. If you’ve never seen it, take two minutes and twenty seconds out of your life to watch it now. THOUGHT LABELS: WELCOMING, GRATITUDE.
“Train hard, fight easy”: Employed by Tiger Woods, and no doubt others, this is similar to the idea of “look after the process and the goals will take care of themselves”. But in my view, it is superior. By training under more difficult and stressful circumstances vs. those you ultimately expect to encounter, you’re naturally intensively attentive to the process. You’re not just rehearsing your lines, you know everyone else’s. You’re not just running intervals, you do them uphill. You’re not just practicing your tennis serve, you raise the net and target only half the service box. This way you show up all the more ready for the match / the race / the show / the exam. THOUGHT LABEL: DETERMINED.
“What’s the risk of inaction?”: Another one to use when weighing up risks of a decision. For example we often consider the risks of moving to a new job without giving equal assessment to the inherent, insidious risks of staying put (lack of progress, mental stagnation etc.). THOUGHT LABEL: OPPORTUNITY COST.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”: A well known saying but a really good thought to have if you’re apprehensive about giving something a go. Often, we believe there’s a larger lens of scrutiny on our actions / achievements than is actually the case. Our ego steps out of the shadows in case we are ranked into some kind of pecking order. A closer reflection of reality is that (quite literally) no one else cares about how long it takes you to do a marathon! If believing that we’ll be somehow judged stops us from doing things that both excite and advance us — then I think we can agree that’s something we should try to eliminate from our psyche. Ryan Holiday says so much more about this in his excellent book “Ego is the Enemy”. THOUGHT LABELS: GROWTH, SELF-SERVING.
“Ignite your curiosity”: Take a step back and assume the role of an interested observer. For example, asking “how will I cope with this circumstance?” shifts you into a gear of curiosity and away from one of anxiety. THOUGHT LABEL: CURIOUS.
A few observations
The top thoughts listed can be categorised widely. It’s an eclectic mix of mantras, questions and cliches. Some help to build your “mental toughness” others your decision making prowess.
By the way, cliches often get a bad rap but by definition, they’ve have stood the test of time — and success leaves clues. For example, there’s so much to take from these timeless phrases (e.g.,“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”) but being so oft repeated can mean they just become platitudes and lose their lustre. We hear them but don’t listen. A bit like a hit song overplayed on the radio — over exposure has blunted its blade. But the gold within remains to be discovered by future generations.
Your top thoughts will be personal to you. None from my list may make it onto yours (though some may resonate to a degree). Furthermore, your list may well include certain deeply personal memories. Your own past experiences, learnings and successes that only you can draw upon. What got you through that big speech, those examinations, or that traumatic period in your life? Or just recollections of happy times that elevate your mood.
“Hopefully, this now gives you enough to go away, sit down with a coffee and compile your own personal list.”
Make your own list
As mentioned, there are no wrong answers. There is no perfect mix of categories or labels. The only test is whether it works for you.
Not a panacea but more weapons for your mental toolkit.
Look, I geddit. Life is complicated and we all have flaws. I can’t promise that making a list of your “top thoughts” will somehow immunise you from any hardship. What I would say is that when these struggles arise, they’re often our biggest teachers and so now we have a framework for recognising they can spawn more “good thoughts” for later use.
Thoughts can be fleeting. There’s no guarantee you’ll have the right thoughts at the right time. But by keeping a reference library of “top thoughts” at your fingertips, your thought factory can more reliably produce high quality, useful outputs.
Remember to update and refine your list periodically
